"Homemaker"

I was standing at our kitchen sink, earbuds in, waiting on hold with the car insurance company. One of the hardest parts of being newly married is combining our lives. Nobody really preps you for that part, probably because the frustration of it is that once you have done it, you want to forget it forever.

The hot, soapy water was calming and almost therapeutic. I tried to sing along with the ridiculous hold music, making up a song that only my three year old nephew would think was funny. The thought of him liking it brought a smile to my face. I sighed. Being homesick is rough.

Abruptly my homesick fog was cut through by the sound of a voice.

"I'm so sorry for the wait, Mrs. Poarch..."

I didn't really hear the rest of her greeting. I've been married a month, and still being called "Mrs. Poarch" is the weirdest thing.  I'm not ready for it. Being called "Mrs." denotes a level of maturity or wisdom that I just have not reached yet.

After shaking the fog from my head and shutting the dish water off, I begin to explain that I was recently married and needed to combined insurance with my new husband. I answered several questions, and things were rolling along. She then asked, "Are you working, Mrs. Poarch?"

"No, I'm not." This, too, caused an ache. I miss my students, my teaching studio, and the violin shop that smelled of wood, varnish and rosin.

"Ok, so, I'll just list you as a homemaker then?" she responded.

I looked frantically around our one bedroom, studio apartment. Thoughts began to spin through my mind. "Is this a home?!" "What makes a home exactly?" "Can I make a home?" "Does cooking make a home?" "I bet a home needs two bedrooms."

Interrupting my sudden panic was the insurance lady saying, "Mrs Poarch?"

"Uh, I guess? I don't know. I don't think I'm really ready for that. I've only been doing this a month."

She burst out laughing and said, "None of us are ever ready. I'm sure you're doing just fine."

The last week and a half I have been pondering this business of being a "homemaker." It seems like such a weighty job, not one that you should take lightly or just try as a hobby. I think about my sister with her three amazing children and beautiful home, my mother with her seven children and doors that are always open for hospitality, my grandmother who has a legacy of family and has given me some of the best holiday memories. To me they are the true "homemakers." These are woman that remind us that there is still hope and love in this world. Compared to these beautiful giants of domesticity, I am a minion. Yet, I am a brave minion, so I will charge ahead. I pray to have a home full of Christ, full of love, full of well used furniture and dishes, full of grace where people arrive weary and leave rested. I desire a home where evil is fought and truth is spoken.

-Elizabeth